Broadcaster and vocal coach Carrie Grant, 56, on autistic children, Hollyoaks and writing a book about family.
Tomorrow is World Autism Awareness Day. How important is that?
Essential. People didn’t even know about girls with autism 10 years ago so, having two children who were assigned female at birth, it became very important for my husband David and I to raise awareness.
I co-started a forum and David and I have been running a parent support group for nearly 10 years, supporting more than 180 families. It’s gone from one enquiry a month to at least one a day.
The biggest cohort of people being diagnosed with autism now is women in their 40s, which is why we’re hearing about people such as Melanie Sykes and , because people know what to look for now.
We have a very narrow view of what autism is but it’s actually a huge spectrum.
What needs to happen?
More representation in books and on screen. Our second child, Tylan, started on Hollyoaks four years ago and is still the only person out there that’s black and autistic, or mixed race and autistic.
World Autism Awareness Day is just as important as it was 13 years ago when Tylan was diagnosed.
What did you know about autism before two of your four children were diagnosed with it?
Nothing. Unfortunately, when most people put autism into a search engine, they’re not going to find positive things.
That’s something I want to change. I do a podcast called Autism: In Conversation With Auticon, who help put autistic people into jobs.
Only about 20% of autistic adults are in work. We’ve got some unbelievably clever people but they won’t fare well in an interview.
When did you realise that Tylan was autistic?
We didn’t, to begin with. When my third child, Arlo, was born, I thought, ‘This child is a bit different.’ The health visitor said, ‘I think they’re autistic, let’s get them tested.’
We got Tylan tested aged seven and got the diagnosis but for the first couple of years the school didn’t believe me because Tylan had what’s called ‘neurotypical passing’ – what used to be called high-functioning autism, a term I really hate.
What signs did you recognise in your children?
Tylan and Arlo are 20 and 16 and very different.
There was an anxiety in Tylan and, once they went to school, it became apparent. Sometimes Tylan wouldn’t say the right thing and children can be cruel.
Tylan had problems eating lunch in a canteen as well as with smells and noises in the classroom.
Were the teenage years the hardest?
Hell. We had three years from 13 to 16 on and off suicide watch with Tylan. Then they got Hollyoaks and life changed. Arlo was thrown out of school at 11 for three years until we found a special school in lockdown.
It was very difficult to access CAMHS, the Children Adolescent Mental Health Service. Once we did, they were really good. Arlo didn’t get any access to CAMHS for months.
About 25% of children referred to CAMHS get an appointment and 0.07% of the NHS budget is spent on children’s mental health.
How was lockdown?
It was an absolute dream for my family. We had very few arguments.
When did Tylan turn to acting?
One of our friends texted me to say there was an ad on Facebook – Hollyoaks were looking for an autistic teenager for a role.
About 150 autistic teenagers applied and Tylan got the job. It was wonderful to be recognised as being good at something because school never did.
How have you managed to keep working during all of this?
David and I used to work together on every single job but about seven years ago we started to work separately.
So it means I can go off and do The One Show and David will do something else because we are full-time carers. Work is a respite, it’s been a saving grace during the past seven years.
How was filming Hollyoaks?
Hilarious. Tylan plays Brooke Hathaway in the soap and two years ago Brooke had a baby.
David and I played the baby’s adopted parents, which is reflecting life, as our youngest is an adopted child and now 12.
We’re not actors and Tylan’s really good so it was funny having to raise the bar against your 20-year-old child.
What else are you up to?
I’m writing a book titled A Very Modern Family about the craziness and amazingness of this family.
I think our family is amazing, even with spending lots of time in hospital and having to navigate all of those different areas trying to be the parent you need to be.
You find something else in yourself you didn’t know was there. That’s the story of the past 20-odd years.
See , or find Carrie’s podcast Autism: In Conversation With Auticon on the usual platforms.
