You need a robust sense of humour to laugh when a doctor’s cracking jokes about the worrying pain in your chest.
Fortunately, Jason Byrne has proved repeatedly that he can see the humorous side of everything, so when he asked his heart specialist if he was dying and the guy said: ‘We’re all dying, Jason,’ that gave him some ace material.
In his new stand-up show, The Ironic Bionic Man, the Irish comic will be making fans laugh about all the things that have gone wrong with his body. Most recently (just after lockdown) he was in the middle of training when he felt something wrong in his heart.
It turned out to be three semi-blocked branch arteries (the ones referred to, rather darkly, as ‘widow-makers’). His problems were caused by hereditary cholesterol issues. Jason’s near obsession with staying fit and active will have played a big part in keeping his blood pumping through those narrowing pipes.
(‘I’m full of f***ing ,’ he laughs) and he’s now right as rain. But, at 51, his act is less physically frenzied than it used to be, and there’s certainly less shouting and more reliance on the microphone than there once was.
He’s famous for bringing people on stage for daft stunts, but this time round he’ll be getting a ‘Jason Byrne reserve’ up in case anything goes wrong. What he’s got planned is hilarious.
If you looked at Jason’s medical record, and the number of times he’d been patched up, you’d assume he was into extreme sports, or just very, very clumsy. ‘None of my injuries are from parachuting or skydiving or car crashes,’ he says. ‘They’re all just unfortunate. One of them is from having a poo.’
You read that right. About 15 years ago he sat down too quickly on the loo and his knee locked. It turned out that loads of exercise – and particular movements on stage – had damaged his cartilage, and his then-wife had to help him stand up and put his trousers back on.
‘My mother broke her wrist recently and the guy operating on her was the same one who did my knee surgery,’ says Jason. ‘He said: “Yeah, I fixed your toilet knee”.’
When he was around 21 his lung collapsed a few times (apparently due to him being tall and thin) and keyhole surgery stapled it back in place, and he suffered a nasty dislocation in Australia about seven years ago. ‘My arm fell off when I was surfing,’ he jokes. ‘It wasn’t even a surfboard. It was a boogie board – the thing you f***ing lie on.’
When he was a kid he had surgery to correct an eye that turned inwards. It was referred to as his ‘bionic eye’ by his dad, whom a lot of this show is about.
Paddy Byrne, the man who inspired so much of Jason’s relatable comic material, died just before the pandemic. Talking about him and some of the many funny things he said and did – coupled with the stuff about Jason’s own health and mortality – makes this the most personal show he has ever done.
But even if it’s connected with misery, it absolutely won’t be miserable, just as his father’s wake was full of laughter.
‘There was something my dad used to love doing at funerals,’ says Jason. ‘You’d go to the funeral home to see the body laid out first, and someone would say, “Oh, he looks so well,” and my dad would go, “How does he look f***in’ well? The man’s dead”.’
Jason’s written a stage play called The Paddy Lama Shed Talks, in which he plays his dad sitting in his shed. We, the audience, are Jason, listening to his wit and wisdom.
‘He was always full of good advice, even though it was full of cigarettes and whisky and Perry Como. He was a calm, laid-back man. My dad used to say you should always talk about somebody when they die or they die twice,’ he says.
Paddy’s desires from life were quite different from his son’s, and he was content to stay exactly where he was. ‘I used to say to him, “But Dad, you haven’t even been to America,” and he’d go, “Why would I want to? I’ve seen it on the telly.” I didn’t have an answer for him.’
Jason’s performing the play at the Dublin Fringe Festival in September, and hopefully he’ll be touring it later. It’s certainly a less frenetic style of performance than his stand-up.
He’s come a long way since he first tried stand-up in Dublin in his late teens. He was a So You Think You’re Funny finalist in 1996, and was shortlisted for the Edinburgh Comedy Award (then known as the Perrier) in 1998 (newcomer category) and 2001.
He’s been a judge on Ireland’s Got Talent, presented his own radio show, and written a couple of memoirs (Adventures of a Wonky-Eyed Boy: The Short-A*** Years and Adventures of a Wonky-Eyed Man: The Dad Knows Best Years, the latter coming out on September 21) and a children’s book series, The Accidental Adventures Of Onion O’Brien.
Nobody could accuse this man of being lazy, so if he needs to slow down a little, he’s certainly earned that. Especially when lowering himself onto the loo.
Jason Byrne will be performing at the Assembly Hall, Edinburgh, Aug 4-27 (not 14, 21), . Touring Sep 15-Nov 25,
