PlatinumGames announce 9 new games in least funny April Fool since the last one
Posted by  badge Boss on Apr 01, 2022 - 03:31PM
Why do they keep doing this? (pic: PlatinumGames)

It’s the un-funniest day of the year again and the makers of Bayonetta have announced more new games that probably, maybe aren’t real.

We’re really worried about PlatinumGames. Ever since they started to focus on self-publishing, around 2020, the quality and quantity of their games has taken a nose dive, as has their ability to discuss their titles sensibly in public.

They’ve always been obsessed by April Fool’s Day and their latest is a six minute long video in which they pretend to announce nine games, except maybe they are real… it’s hard to tell.

The whole thing is clearly set up as a joke and yet , they later revealed, long after everyone had forgotten about it, that it was actually real.

That game was the okay-ish 2D shooter , which is nominally part of what Platinum call the Neo-Classic Arcade collection. Whether there actually are any other Neo-Classic Arcade games though is hard to tell.

The lists all the games’ names as work in progresses, with the video implying that the first one might really be called GalaPun, although if that’s a reference to something it’s lost on us.

This is the full list of titles, with all but one of them represented by silhouettes reminiscent of other non-Platinum games. High-Speed Action Racing, for example, seems to be a nod to F-Zero, while Dynamite Sexy Puzzle Game appears to feature Vanessa Z. Schneider from Capcom’s .

P.N.03 was directed by Resident Evil creator Shinji Mikami, who, although he left years ago, was one of the original founders of PlatinumGames, so it’s not inconceivable that Platinum could have licensed the character from Capcom. Although why they’d then put her in a puzzle game is a mystery.

PlatinumGames Neo-Classic Arcade Series Shocking 10

  • Sol Cresta
  • Galactic Badass Beat ‘Em Up Action
  • Battle Action Block-Breaking Game
  • Sci-Fi Superhuman Soccer
  • Pt Spectacular Side-Scrolling Action
  • Constella-Style Side Scrolling Shooting
  • High-Speed Action Racing
  • Dynamite Sexy Puzzle Game
  • Ultimate Top-View Bastard Action
  • Apocalyptic Giant Robot Fighting

Pt Spectacular Side-Scrolling Action is the only image not in silhouette but that seems to be because it’s an original character, although it still doesn’t give away anything about the game.

It’s most likely that the silhouettes are just placeholders and not entirely representative of the final games or, you know, the whole thing is just a stupid joke.

We have the feeling that at least some of these games are real though, possibly all of them, with the only sensible part of the video being when Sol Cresta co-producer Takahito Washisaka claims that the first title will have a similar budget to Sol Cresta and will be out in 2023.

It’s all so unnecessarily though and shows that Platinum has learned nothing from the confusion over Sol Cresta.

That’s one thing when they have the security of being published by someone else but now that they’re paying their own way on everything… it doesn’t seem a sensible way to try and get people interested in your games.

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