Film and TV fans have been benefitting from the work of intimacy coordinators on major projects for a good few years now, enjoying realistic, sexy and seemingly deeply personal scenes in their favourite movies and shows.
’s headline-grabbing sequences started the conversation around –and clamour for – such scenes, but , , Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, since have continued it.
Now, intimacy coordinators have become much more of an industry standard – but audience members only seem to be aware of one part of their role. Namely: choregraphing sex scenes.
However, there’s a lot more to the job than just that, revolutionary though the work has been.
Following the news that the Screen Actors Guild has tightened up its rules around confidentiality for intimacy coordinators on set, a whole separate part of the occupation has been revealed to the public.
Sag-Aftra opted to add a new amendment to their guidance for such workers after discussions between and Martin Freeman hit headlines recently.
In Miller’s Girl, Ortega and Freeman, aged 21 and 52 respectively,and her teacher-turned-love interest Jonathan Miller.
Released in the in January, the movie sparked heated discussion after viewers were made uncomfortable by the sexual nature of the two stars’ onscreen relationship, especially given their 31-year age gap.
The film’s intimacy coordinator Kristina Arjona spoke out to, talking about how she had worked with the actors on the sexual material for Miller’s Girl.
Subsequently, it’s been revealed that how these scenes are spoken about, as well as what is and isn’t shared about the prep, rehearsal and filming experience, is part of the intimacy director’s role as well.
Intimacy coordinators have been a popular addition to sets to help actors safely prepare and perform intimate scenes together – but now Sag Aftra’s rules indicate they could actually be without a job if they speak publicly about their work without the consent of the actors.
Established intimacy director Ita O’Brien, who has worked on productions including Normal People, I May Destroy You and recent BBC Viagra drama Men Up, is in support of the new rule change from the guild.
She points out that the aspect that Sag-Aftra has ‘picked up on and in a way shorn up is a really important one’, given the sanctity of confidentiality.
Commenting on the guidance change rather than Arjona’s public discussion of working on Miller’s Girl, O’Brien told Metro.co.uk: ‘The best practice as an intimacy practitioner is, absolutely, the standard process that you honour and support the production, work with the production’s publicist and the press releases that they give out, and that that’s what you adhere to as the intimacy practitioner.
‘For me, that’s really a clear process to journey through.’
Put simply? ‘You don’t say anything in the press that doesn’t support a production, its publicist and press releases.’
That means down to following what’s been agreed upon for the show or film’s ‘straplines and the stock phrases’ for publicity material, according to O’Brien.
Most of the public’s awareness around intimacy coordinators really revolves around their on-set role in facilitating the filming of sex and intimate scenes, although they also work on birth scenes and material involving abuse, as well as safeguarding all cast and crew involved.
However, as O’Brien now emphasises, the job actually spans the entire length of production and beyond – including when a film or TV show is released to the public.
‘It’s as important how we continue that support when the production goes out into the world and [generates] a response from an audience,’ she explains.
‘We’re part of that ongoing support in really making sure that a cast member is [helped] and [overseeing] how the intimate content is spoken about and – most importantly – that it is absolutely still following that intention to be confidential, to honour the production, honour how it’s spoken about and what is spoken about.’
Part of that is ‘being aware of the public at large’s take or where the questions are going’ when a production is being discussed online and in the media, as happened with Miller’s Girl.
‘If something goes out to press, and really hits the zeitgeist with the general public, then the various bits that the general public can pick up on, the kinds of questions that are levelled at a cast member, can also be challenging – particularly if it’s about some of the content that we’ve been part of.’
For O’Brien and her company Intimacy On Set, that means ‘working with the publicists to take care of the cast just as much during that bit, so that they’re making sure that they’re not over-sexualised or objectified’.
Confidentiality, as Sag-Aftra has highlighted, is absolutely crucial too, so that only what the cast is happy discussing is released to the public says O’Brien, keeping within the boundaries agreed upon with actors.
As she says at one point in our conversation, one of the most important things O’Brien has learned during her career is to ‘never make assumptions’ over who working on set will or won’t be triggered by something being filmed, as well as what it might be that affects them.
‘Sometimes, particularly if there’s challenging intimate content, those boundaries might come from a place of someone being activated because of past experiences, so we might get to know that. But it’s absolutely important that our role is one that holds that confidentiality. So that’s fundamental.’
‘To elicit trust means that if a cast is going to share something with us that is vulnerable-making [sic], then it’s absolutely fundamental that we hold that confidentiality,’ she insists.
‘But then we can share – we seek agreement and consent as to who might be suitable for that confidential information to be shared with, but we hold it.’
Actors can also, of course, change their minds during and after filming over what they might feel comfortable speaking about, and up to what point, while doing publicity.
O’Brien gives an example.
‘With Men Up, [and] I think I remember with Conversations with Friends, there was a particular bit – they were happy for certain amount of storytelling to be released, but at the point of doing interviews said, “And don’t tell from this bit of the story onwards.”’
Upon release, Miller’s Girl generated a lot of reaction with its more sexual content, with one scene in particular branded ‘hard to watch’ as it went viral for its suggestive nature.
In it, Jonathan (Freeman) is seen reading a creative writing assignment that Cairo (Ortega) has submitted as they grow closer on screen, with the professor stroking his student’s body and bending her over a bed, before leaning in very close.
‘Man what!!! I get she’s an actor but man it’s hard to watch,’ one fan admitted on X, while another commenter claimed that a couple ‘walked out of the theatre’ because they were ‘so uncomfortable’.
Arjona had insisted in an interview that Ortega herself was ‘comfortable, very determined and very sure’ about her intimate scenes with Freeman in Miller’s Girl.
‘Part of my job too is supporting her decisions. I adapt to whatever is the comfort level of my actors, especially on a production like this where there is a large age gap between the actors,’ the coordinator added to .
She also said that both Ortega and Freeman were ‘consistently’ checked in with to make sure that none of ‘their boundaries were being surpassed’.
As well as discussing ‘levels of nudity’ and ‘additional barriers’ that could be used in intimate moments, Miller’s Girl was also reportedly shown to test audiences to see ‘what was too much’ due to the ‘sensitivity of the content’, according to Arjona.
In the aftermath of the interview, reported that the Screen Actors Guild (Sag-Aftra) had tweaked its guidelines with stricter measures which mean any intimacy coordinator who does not adhere carefully with privacy restraints on their work could be removed from the registry, after an investigation.
‘Intimacy coordinators are a crucial resource on any set to ensure the protection of our members working in intimate scenes,’ a Sag-Aftra spokesperson said when confirming the new rules to Metro.co.uk.
While there could be instances in which intimacy coordinators speak out about what happened during intimate scenes they worked on, this will now likely only be either with the explicit permission of the actors and production or when a legal investigation is involved.
In a new point added to the ‘additional requirements’ section on Sag-Aftra’s , it reads: ‘Intimacy coordinators should maintain the confidentiality of an actor’s work and experience in performing highly sensitive scenes unless they have the actor’s permission to publicly share this information.’
‘The public release of details about an actor’s scene work or confidences entrusted to the intimacy coordinator without the performer’s consent is unacceptable,’ it finishes.
‘Members have to feel safe, comfortable, and confident in engaging with intimacy coordinators,’ a Guild source shared with the publication, in response to the tightening up of the rules.
Metro.co.uk has contacted Sag-Aftra and Kristina Arjona for comment.
