I got engaged at 19 – Millie Bobby Brown is not ‘too young’

’s ‘engagement’ was very different to my own.

Her ring was reportedly worth £250,000, while my husband, Paul – who was a student at the time – got me a lovely, but much more humble diamond.

The actress and her new beau , while my hubby got down on one knee in my bedroom of my mum and dad’s house.

The one thing that unites mine and Millie’s experiences? We were both 19 at the time.

Over 13 years on, I’m still happily married – and, if her Instagram post was indeed confirming her engagement, I wish Millie every success in her journey to married life too. Sod the haters saying she’s ‘too young’.

I first met Paul when I was 18 years old in January 2008 at the church we both went to. I was still in sixth form and he was a 20 year-old university student, and I remember thinking how warm his smile was.

We quickly became friends, making excuses to go into town for coffee together or hang outside of church. It was just so easy to talk to him, but I genuinely didn’t know if he felt anything deeper for me.

Then on 16 April, he texted me out of the blue to tell me that he wanted to take me out on a date for a couple of drinks that evening. He’d been thinking about it for a while and decided to do something about it.

On that first date, the dynamic shifted once we both knew each of us were keen and our bond only strengthened. In fact, four days later, we made our relationship Facebook official.

From there, things progressed quite quickly. Less than two weeks after that, I met his parents for the first time over a lovely dinner (who, I found out later, got engaged when they were 17 or 18 themselves!).

We then even went back to my parents’ house so Paul’s folks could meet mine. Fairly soon after that, we also said we loved each other. 

About four months in, we had a really practical conversation about our future together where we laid everything on the line.

By this point, I had originally deferred my place at The University of Sheffield to take a gap year and go travelling abroad. But I wanted to reevaluate that now that I had met Paul and things were getting pretty serious.

When some people found out that I was thinking about not going abroad anymore, they told me that I shouldn’t change my plans for a man. Some even suggested we do long distance, but we knew that wasn’t right for us.

We wanted to properly give the relationship a chance and that’s how we, quite level-headedly, discussed the idea of getting engaged. At the same time, I applied for a place at Warwick University, which was closer to home so that we could continue our relationship. 

Paul wanted to propose on my 19th birthday towards the end of 2008  – just seven months after we started dating – but the ring he ordered didn’t arrive in time. That day, he hinted that there was another main present coming, but I didn’t think too much of it.

Then a week later, he popped the question while we were just hanging out in my lilac-painted childhood bedroom. In between casually talking about our days, he got down on one knee, which was a lovely surprise.

All our family and friends were really supportive but a lot of them were very surprised because we hadn’t even been dating for a year. Some took a little while to come around.

In December 2009, we had a lovely traditional church wedding, followed by a three-course meal for about 70 people and a live band and party in the evening for about 150 people.

We budgeted everything carefully and managed to spend just £7,000 in total – and that’s including the dress and even the honeymoon!

The thing is, I had never even been to a wedding at the point when Paul proposed so I would probably do a lot of things differently if we did it today and, of course, I would make our own wedding rings (I’m a goldsmith and jewellery designer now).

I must say that it felt a bit odd to start university engaged in September 2009 and then married three months later because I didn’t quite fit into the category of a typical student or a married woman.

But since then, our marriage has been like any other. We’ve had ups and downs, including my narcolepsy diagnosis, which resulted in Paul becoming my carer throughout, as well as welcoming our child two years ago.

Through it all, it has definitely felt like I’ve had a partner-in-crime who I feel completely supported by and cared for – especially when I decided to become a goldsmith after eventually finishing my chemistry degree.

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That’s what I hope for Millie and Jake. A supportive partnership – whatever the age of the people involved – should be the groundwork for any engagement and subsequent marriage.

After the news broke, people on social media all seemed to parrot the same line: ‘You’re too young to get married.’ I think these people are probably remembering how they were at 19 and basing their judgement off that, but you can’t necessarily apply that to everybody.

My marriage wasn’t doomed for failure just because of how old I was when I was engaged. We’re still going strong after 13 years.

Sure, marriage for some people at 19 isn’t the right choice, but that should be up to those involved. Only they know whether it’s the right or wrong decision for them.

Personally, if they are engaged, I applaud them for making a commitment so early on, especially given the challenges of the limelight.

In her Instagram post Millie wrote: ‘I’ve loved you three summers now, honey, I want ’em all.’

Good on you, Millie. I just hope you don’t let the naysayers get you down – I certainly didn’t.

As told to James Besanvalle

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