Malin Andersson has opened up about falling ‘into an even darker hole’ and struggling after welcoming a baby girl.
The star, who appeared in season two of the dating show, on January 28, with boyfriend Jared.
She introduced the little one to the world shortly after, before to take time for her family.
Taking to Instagram, the 29-year-old shared two photos of herself in a field, beside a lengthy caption.
‘Okay. So a bit of an honest post here, I haven’t really said too much as of late as I’ve been in a huge bubble with my family.. trying to grasp being a new mum,’ she began. ‘I’m not gonna lie to you all, I fully lost myself since being pregnant, and then post-birth I fell into an even darker hole. I would look in the mirror and I wouldn’t know who I was anymore.
‘I think trauma is underestimated, and when you think you’ve healed.. the universe throws more shadow work for you to do. After Xaya was born I was not only getting over my c-section but I was also breastfeeding and then had to stop after it got too much and I had mastitis.Â
‘I then instantly felt I didn’t connect with her like I thought because of it. I felt a slight detachment and an overwhelming sense of guilt. I felt guilt that Jared had to do most of the nights at the start because I couldn’t even move my body.
‘I was wondering why I had been given this beautiful baby, and why I wasn’t instantly connecting with her soul. I felt distant. I felt disconnected. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep..
‘Everything I’ve ever wanted, a pure loving family in front of me which I couldn’t quite appreciate. An amazing man, a surreal daughter.. Pre-natal depression, post-natal depression.. trauma.. whatever you want to call it can be fixed.’
‘Our minds are powerful. We are capable of doing anything we want, if we have the motivation to do so,’ she continued.Â
‘I saw myself losing sight of who I was even more as days went on, and I knew I had to do something about it.. take the reigns and take control of my life like I’ve done in the past. You see mental health is a serious thing, we think we’re ok, we’re healed.. then you fall back into a place you never thought you’d be in again.
‘That’s normal. Healing like grief is NOT linear. It takes time. It takes bad things to happen to make you understand what needs to be fixed. I’m now finding myself again. MALIN.. not just a mum, or an ‘inspiration’ ‘celeb’ whatever labels there are of me..
‘My spirituality, therapy, hobbies, health, fitness.. all of these which I know are important to what my soul craves are so important.’
Malin ended the post: ‘Find YOU again, nobody else can do it for you…..’
Fans branded the model as an inspiration over the post, flooding the comments section with supportive comments.
‘The lost feeling is such a lonely one and I’m so glad you’re speaking on it! I’m JUST having my homecoming to me now,’ a follower commented.
‘What a brilliant post. Thank you Malin,’ an Instagram user agreed.
Another said: ‘Wow appreciate your honestly so much! So much love to you! You got this!’
One added: ‘You’ve got this Malin! Be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time. Sending love, hugs and positivity your way.’
